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Further
Reading ...
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Choosing Tanning Products Wisely
Why is it that people look so good and healthy with a little colour, yet tanning can be so harmful to your skin? Recent studies and the news report that there are more cases than ever of melanoma and we all know that extensive exposure to...
Reflections on the Peace Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi
Book Review - Reflections on the Peace Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi By Albert Haase Reviewed by Lisa M. Hendey Certain inspirational sayings and prayers transcend denominational lines, becoming part of the fabric of faith and inspiration for...
The Realities of Your Relationship
Relationship Reality One of my aims in life is to break down any sense that we are alone, that our challenges are in any way unique or special. It’s all just stuff that gets in the way of us being our best, but just like gum on your shoe, it can be...
WAHM - What It Takes
As I’m sitting here installing a wireless mouse, I started thinking. I started to think about how much work , just in the past 4 months, I have been putting into starting a home based business. Yep, I jumped on the wham (work at home mom) ban...
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The HIGH EQ Way to Choose the Right Man for You
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Written By:
Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence
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Take a look inside him. Ask yourself these questions.
1. What’s his EQ? Did you know you can measure it? Since your relationship depends upon your interpersonal skills, it would be smart if you both took the EQ-Map© and then worked with an EQ coach on areas needed. EQ can be learned. Go here - http://tinyurl.com/z94t .
2.Does he have deficits in the limbic brain? This is about eye contact, oxytocin, bonding, parenting, affection, using the word “we”. If all you’re getting is reptilian (sex ) and neocortex (intellectual), why give up good closet space when a Rampant Rabbit and Wikipedia would do?
3.How’s the left- right brain balance? Talking to someone who’s all left-brain is like getting facts from a machine. Talking to someone who’s all right-brain – they may not be organized enough to show up for the talk!
4.How “male” brained is he?
According to Simon Baron-Cohen ( http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738208442/susandunnmome-20 ), the extreme male brain is good at systematizing, and low on empathy. It takes the average male 7 times longer to process emotional information than for a woman to. What if it takes him 70 times longer? What if he can’t get there at all?
5. How does he manage his anger? You need to experience this. Don’t make a decision until you’ve had your first big fight. Make sure you both trust yourselves and the relationship enough to be able to disagree openly and come to a resolution.
6.Will he be there for you? As Oriah Mountain Dream says, will he “stand in the middle of the fire with [you] and not shrink back?” It’s a sign of maturity and character to be able to stand and deliver when you feel like - continued below ...
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running.
7.Can he be faithful? This isn’t a philosophical issue. If it happens to you, it can hit you in the gut.
Male infidelity may be intellectually defensible, but emotionally it destroys the covenant of the relationship the way the radioactive contamination from a nuclear bomb destroys vegetation. It won’t be coming back in your lifetime, and without it, there is no relationship.
8.Does he know enough is enough? One should never use more force than is necessary. Can he think before he speaks and then deliver just the right amount. And no more. It shows empathy, self-confidence, and self-control. This means resisting all urges to deliver the big one-two he knows would really really hurt you in a verbal argument.
9.Do you laugh together? If there’s anything you can count on to get you through the long haul, it’s a sense of humor. Wit gets bonus points with me. It can be used in public, and can save your marriage on a 6-hour car trip with a carsick kid and a borken air-conditioner. Silliness … now that’s the sign of true lovers.
10.Does he say nice things to you about you and the relationship? The formula is 3 positive things for each negative thing. Does he do this? Is he willing to learn?
About the Author
©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks on relationships, emotional intelligence, career, transitions, retirement.
Susan is the author of “Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women," available here: http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html , the best ebook library on the Internet.
For FREE EQ ezine, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc and put “ezine” for subject line.
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Preparing Your Child for the Three R's
There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are crucial elements in the education of any child. A child's ability to later cope in the adult world, to have a career, to take charge of his financial affairs and to live...
Random Writings on Nephews
I don't get to see my nephews much anymore every since I moved from Atlanta to Lake City. I get to see them maybe twice a year and even then my younger nephew Nick is usually sleep so it doesn't really count. Seeing a family member sleep is like...
Two Hearts Are Now One
© Copyright 1997 - 2005 Rebecca Hanson Please ask permission to reproduce this article. Rebecca@YouCanHaveItAll.com February 14, 1997 It is fitting that I should write this story on Valentines Day, for this is a story of two broken hearts; healed...
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