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Further
Reading ...
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Here Comes The Sun (signs) - Romance, Astrology And You (part One)
Ladies, if you want to have a successful dating life, certain phrases should never come out of your glossy lips. Here they are: 1. WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN? You’ll see him when you see him. If he wants to see you again, he’ll call. If not,...
Sex & Pregnancy...Do they Mix???
As a pregnant women, you may experience sex drives much like your moods. Up and Down! Some women claim that they have no sex drive at all during pregnancy, and others, say their sex drive is better during pregnancy. With changes to your body...
Have You Ever???
Have you ever tried to ask yourself if you’re truly happy? What's happiness means to you? What if all of the things are almost there but love wasn't there? Will you still be happy?
**A man and a woman fell in love without knowing each...
"Mid-Life and Looking for a Guy? Help is Here,"
Are all
the "good ones" married? Are men your age only interested in women 20
years younger? Is it "impossible" to meet men?
Okay, although logic never convinces anyone
of anything, let's counter some of these silly ideas. Yes,...
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Partners as Mindreaders
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Written By:
Maggie Vlazny, MSW
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SPOUSE AS MINDREADER
Well, I'm here to tell you that's not gonna happen. Though it's amazing how many people expect mindreading in a relationship. Particularly women. See, we women think we can read our partner's minds, and can't understand why its not reciprocated. The good news is, obviously, that no one can read anyone's mind. That's not communicating, that's very very very wishful, and often destructive, thinking. Actually, you might want to really reconsider this wish. Imagine if he or she could read everything in your mind?
Example of woman thinking she's mindreading: Husband is watching tv, gorgeous, sexy female appears in an ad. Wife mistakenly mindreads: "You're thinking about how much prettier she is than me, aren't you? You're thinking you'd really like to have sex with her, admit it! If you COULD have one time out on our commitment, you'd be with her, wouldn't you?" Now, the poor guy is really wondering if tonight is a green light with his wife(he obviously has no shot with the actress on tv) but now he doesn't go for it because he might get in more trouble. She gets pissed at him for "lying" to her, and now he doesn't dare come on to her because he's pissed her off (no clue why) when really she wants him to mindread that she wants him to come on to her..... but has - continued below ...
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continued ...
chosen a less than effective way of communicating this to him...
Better would be: Honey, I feel so insecure when I see those gorgeous models on tv. Do you still want me like you used to? I guarantee you'll both get what you want with this straitforward approach!
Example of male mindreading: The man gets into bed and, figuring the bed is a mating mat even though he's been advised hundreds of time to the contrary, mindreads that she really wants him tonight and is just too shy to come right out and say it (see above). He jumps her bones and either gets shoved off or she plays dead through the whole thing (admit it, women: for spite).
Better: subtle communication works best here. Offer a back rub, or a foot rub, and very slowly work your way to the desired destination. Give her some time to enjoy the relaxation and get in the mood. Minimal communication would be: does that feel good? Telling her why you love her or her specific physical attributes communicates that you still think she's hot. Don't expect her to mindread how sexy you think she is. We never get tired of hearing it.
About the Author
Maggie is a professional couples counselor and singles relationship coach in Fairfield County, CT. See more at www.therapyct.com or contact maggie@therapyct.com
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| _Additional Resources ... |
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Unique gift ideas for the Holiday Season! Go
Unique gift ideas for the Holiday Season! Go Digital! Instead of scouring the mall for gifts this holiday season why not consider using your cherished photos to create a unique personalized gift for family and friends? There are so many ways...
10 Reasons Why Your Cat Loves You
There are plenty of reasons why your cat loves you. Ten of the main reasons are listed below. Enjoy! 1. You provide food - Cats love food and they love you for giving them that food. If it wasn't for you, they'd go hungry, and of course, if...
The Training Baby
My kid is only 6months old, yet he has taught me more than I have ever learnt in the last ten years of supposed life’s experience. It is amazing really, that one so young can teach so much, that a ball of squeaking immaturity can give and educate...
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