"Thanks to Walt Disney's ""The Lion King"", children the world over know the Swahili expression ""Hakuna Matata"". It means ""No Problem"" and we grown-ups should use it more often.
I used to come home and my wife would say, ""We have a crisis!"" I would immediately think that our daughter was in a hospital, the car broke down, or her mother was coming to stay with us. But it was usually just that the washing machine was broken, or she couldn't get a babysitter for our movie date.
It is easy to turn a minor disruption into a major disaster. Don't do it! It lowers the energy of everyone involved and makes you want to run away. Instead, take the energy you are wasting on worrying and complaining about the ""ifs"", ""buts"" and ""shoulds"" - and direct it toward finding the solution.
Problem-solving requires awareness and becoming aware of the problem is often enough to solve it. To sharpen your awareness, take a look at the problem from three different perspectives:
1. Accept that the problem is really just a FACT, or set of facts.
Situation: You parked in a no-parking zone and your car was just towed.
You may be furious about it, but the fact remains that the car was towed. If you detach yourself momentarily from your feelings, and look strictly at the facts, it will be easier to put things into perspective. Just imagine that someone else's car was towed. Would you feel the same about it? Probably not! You would probably think, ""Well that's what happens when you park in a tow-away zone.""
So, act as if the problem belonged to your neighbor and not yourself...
Now, there are no more problems - only facts!
2. Be willing to see your problem as a CHALLENGE.
What's more fun: dealing with a problem, or facing a new challenge?
Situation: You've just had another fight with someone close. Arguing is not going to achieve anything.
You can treat the situation (or the person) as a problem, or you can choose to see it as a challenge: ""How can I create a harmonious, understanding relationship with that person?"" Instead of looking backward into the past (""How many times I've tried, and still it doesn't work""), you look forward to the future (""Let's see how I can make a difference"").
The heaviness of the situation is gone, and excitement takes over...
Now, there are no more problems - only challenges!
3. Recognize the problem as an OPPORTUNITY.
In reality, every obstacle is a chance to learn something new and grow: ""The obstacle is the path.""
Situation: Your boss just gave you two weeks notice. You're shocked, angry, worried, feeling insecure.
You can see it as a problem (""What am I going to do now?"" ""Where will I earn money?"" ""I'm too old to change""), or you can see the possibilities open to you that were not there before: ""Now I finally can take the around-the-world tour I always - continued below ...