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Further
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Cottage Living And The Grilling Is Easy
(NC)—Whether you spend a week or a weekend at the cottage or cabin this summer, an important part of your holiday fun involves sharing good meals with friends and family. Summer is the time to kick back, relax and soak up the sun. Although we...
Ten Ways to Save Your Sanity During the Holidays
1. Set limits for yourself. If you feel overwhelmed with shopping, cooking and visiting relatives don't add more to your plate. Take 10-15 minute breaks to take e a walk, meditate, read, pray or just sit still. Don't let anyone guilt you into...
Elephants and Teenagers
Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa recently. The adult elephants were taken away and the orphaned youngsters were left to fend for themselves. The youngsters started the path to sexual...
A Recipe For Friendship
What determines friendship? What ingredients are necessary for a true friendship to hold forth? Is it someone who calls you on the phone a few times a week? Or someone who goes for morning runs with you? How about someone you share a meal with once...
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Infidelity Discovered? 10 Ways to Calm Your Powerful Feelings
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Written By:
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
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When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins "pulling away" you may also experience intense feelings. Read through this list and pick out a couple things you can do to help yourself during these times.
1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you.
2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: "I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen."
3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing...anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don't censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, "OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more." Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it.
4. Find a safe place and spend some time there. Do you have a favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you feel safe and can "get away." Intentionally spend some time there.
5. Use good "self talk." Tell yourself, "You are ok. You will be ok. This too shall pass. What you are feeling is normal and will not destroy you." Develop that "observing part" that can - continued below ...
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speak to your turmoil.
6. Pray. Meditate. Use your spiritual resources, if you have them. If you don't have them, it can be a good time to develop them. Spirituality often affirms your worth and enables you to see the larger picture.
7. Be aware. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling and what you are doing. Pay close attention to these chunks of your life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain.
8. Encourage the rhythm of your feelings. Your feelings will come and go, often as in waves. There will be lulls and sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and frequency of the waves.
9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and professional coaching, often via telephone, is a helpful phenomenon that is increasingly popular as a way to find support and direction for specific problems.
10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and talking to people about your situation. Believe me, you are not alone. Many people have walked your path (well, not exactly your path, but close) and are there to offer their understanding and point out the bends and turns of your road.
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
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Relationship Tests Galore! How Good Are They? Which One Is For Me?
Just about every match making site and relationship ezine offers relationship or personality tests of some kind. Are they any good? What do they really measure? Which one is right for me? As with most queries I went to the web for...
Dating Advice: Should You Play With Madness?
I have a friend with a big problem, a guy who needs good dating advice badly. All the women he dates are dysfunctional, and he can't figure out why. Actually, most of the women he dates aren't merely dysfunctional, they're psychotic. In fact,...
Honor Grandma with a Baby Shower for Grandma
Throwing a baby shower for grandma could be a great way to commemorate the excitement of becoming a grandmother for the first time. There’s nothing like spoiling the little cuties for a day and then sending them home to their parents! But while...
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