If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don’t need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn’t matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain.

You may feel that you can’t stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life. Life is change; people come and go in your life, and that is okay. As you grow, new people will come and some may leave. It is all for your own good. The tendency to cling to the old and avoid change is a common human trait. Unfortunately, it is also a self-defeating and self-destructive habit, and completely unnecessary.

I have seen too much suffering and pain from breakups. Friends, family members, clients and acquaintances have gone through long periods of pain before getting over their exes. It took them a long time before healing their hearts and opening for love again. From the outside, it was obvious that their exes were not the right people for them in the first place, or that their relationship had become stagnant and even sour. Finally the breakup occurred, followed by a long period of pain, suffering and ultimately a slow healing. (A long, painful recovery can create long lasting negative consequences in life, such as loss of a job, poor school performance, depression, weight problems, and many more).

Years later, after the breakup, I found them happier than ever, with a loved one. That new person seemed to be almost a perfect match. Looking back into their lives, they realized that unless they went through that breakup, finding their true love would not have happened. So, why couldn’t they accept that this breakup was for their own good in the first place? Why couldn’t they get over it faster, rather than taking months or years to do so? Why did they have to go through years or months of suffering? Why did they waste so much precious time of their lives?

After a breakup, everybody has two choices. One, leave the healing to time. Two, take charge of the recovery process. The first method will take a long time, pain and suffering before healing. It is slow and torturous. The second method, taking control, will allow anyone to accelerate the healing process, learn fast and move on, leaving space to find healthier and more fulfilling love than ever before. You may need some guidance on the steps for a fast and productive emotional healing. We have never been taught how to heal emotionally, so when we go through an emotional situation we are on our own. We need a method, a successfully proven method for emotional healing.

The Extreme F.A.S.T. method is an effective, simple and practical alternative to heal faster than you thought possible. Three facts make this method a very exciting proposition: First, it works; second, anyone can follow it and get results; third, it creates permanent change in the negative pattern of relationships.

Do you think that your pain has been there for too long, or is too deep for any method to help you heal it? Think again. Deep pain is formed by “layers” of memories that can be real or imagined, positive or negative. When you tackle each layer, all the sources of pain will vanished. You will find yourself free of pain, and free of any negative patterns that repeat themselves into your life.

When you choose a method to use and follow in your breakup or divorce recovery, you are already on the path to healing. You have a choice; use your free will to choose what is best for YOU.

It requires a lot of courage and strength to want to heal fast. It would be easier to follow the mass belief that after a breakup we will go through a lot of pain and suffering for years, or at least months. However, you can make a different choice. You can believe in your own capacity to heal fast, in your own ability to get on with your life as soon as possible. You don’t need to waste precious time suffering and dwelling on the past. You can get the love you truly deserve. Your true partner is already on the way; the more you suffer and prolong your healing, the more you will delay his or her arrival.

Make your choice: Time or The Extreme F.A.S.T. Method?

© 2004 Jeanette Castelli. Adapted from “Extreme Breakup Recovery” by Jeanette Castelli, M.S. A do it yourself Workshop in a Book®. Features a step-by-step guidance through the Extreme F.A.S.T. method: proven for quick, permanent and productive recovery from any breakup or divorce. Includes exercises, worksheets and affirmations. Book available at bookstores and online retailers worldwide. ISBN: 0-9742061-3-X. For more information, visit website: http://www.EXTREME.Urbantex.com/ Email: postmaster@urbantex.com

Jeanette Castelli, M.S. is an expert in self-empowerment, relationships and recovery. She is an author, speaker and coach. Her eductaion includes a Bachelor Of Science of Psychology and a Master Of Science of Psychology. Her belief is in empowering yourself to create the changes in your life by "doing not just reading" Her books feature an interactive, user-friendly step-by step guidance with practical, real life applications of the theory. She has written "Extreme Breakup Recovery" and "The Joy Of Dating Again" To contact the author email to postmaster@urbantex.com