 |
Further
Reading ...
|
|
The Charlotte Mason Method Increases The Effectiveness Of A Home School Reading Program
When it comes to home schooling, parents need all of the resources they can muster. Designing curricula, scheduling field trips, and tailoring lesson plans to children in different grade levels can be challenging. Using children's literature to...
Ten Ways to Get Your Kids to Listen to You
There are times when every parent feels as if they might as well be talking to a block of wood. As with many other things, the harder you try to get your kids to listen, the more resistance you get. Here are ten things to consider when you want to...
Use Party Favors To Brighten Up All Kinds Of Parties
Many times, when you attend a party, you receive a party favor. This is usually something small that you can take home with you to remind you of the party for years to come. In most instances, party favors are only given to women or children as a...
The POWER of Reading
Reading to your child at a young age is one of the most effective tools for expanding his mind and instilling a lifelong love of learning. Reading a good book allows your child to travel to places she has never been, to meet people she has never...
|
|
|
Extramarital Affairs: When Sexual Addiction and Infidelity Meet
|
 |
Written By:
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
|
|
|
One kind of extramarital affair revolves around sexual addiction. The partner involved in the affair, plain and simple, has a difficult time saying "NO." He/she may want to, but feels compelled to say "yes."
People can’t say no? Well, I believe we all have the capacity, at some level, to say no. However, not all have developed that capacity or reached that level to firmly say no and mean it.
Some are “stuck” and seem to lack the ability to consistently act on the “no.” Please remember that all of us are “grabbed” by something and find it difficult to let go. Infidelity when connected to sexual addiction and its many forms, however, becomes a powerful focal point.
How to know if infidelity is attached to sexual addiction:
1. Sex takes on an inflated role or value. Sex, sexual conquest, sexual release becomes a powerful force. Acting on the sexual impulse is a frequent activity. Thinking about sex likewise consumes an inordinate amount of time. Multiple ways of acting out sexually (porn, strip clubs, multiple sex partners, etc.) are common.
2. This activity is bound by fear. The person lives with fear: the fear of getting caught, the fear of consequences, the fear of “being found out,” the fear of being abnormal, the fear of being punished, and the fear of losing family, spouse, job and respect.
3. A promise/failure cycle ebbs and flows with the inability to say no. After an “acting out” episode the person usually experiences guilt/fear and promises to self or others, “I won’t do it again.” This will last...until the “urge” is acted upon again. The spouse may be aware or unaware (but sense that something is not “right”) of the “roller - continued below ...
|
|
|
continued ...
coaster” and succession of broken promises.
4. Others are used or seen as objects for personal gratification. No true intimacy is developed.
5. Sexuality is often confused with other needs or connected to unresolved past pain or trauma. A child who experiences confusion around sexuality or sexual abuse of one form or another, may carry along that confusion and attempt to “work that through” in a marriage or extramarital affairs. (I worked with one woman who “used” a one-night fling with a significant person to “clear up” a particular issue.) She was free of that “urge” from that point on. No one ever knew. Could she have chosen a different way? Maybe.
6. Such a person lives in a distorted world. They come to see the world and relationship through the eyes of their “addiction.” They have a great capacity to rationalize their behavior, deceive others and may lead a “dual” life.
Tip: If you suspect these characteristics fit you or someone you love, get some help before your world disintegrates further or falls apart. Life can be different. Life, sexuality, a truly intimate relationship IS different. You can get there. You are stuck, and need some true love, care and guidance to arrive at the next level.
If you are interested in learning about the 6 other forms of infidelity I outline in my book, "Break Free From the Affair," visit my website.
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
| _Additional Resources ... |
|
How to Uncover Your Real Coat of Arms
Armorial bearings, or coats of arms, take us back to the glamour of the middle ages. In days of old, knights displayed heraldic devices on their horses' caparisons, their servants' liveries, and on their banners and shields. As war medals are...
Homebased Network Marketing Mlm
Homebased Network Marketing Mlm has three qualities: control of time and money, continual salary, and steady growth which multiplies. By trying to control your time, you can reap from your downline's efforts. A downline is a group of people...
Day One at Nursing Home For Rehabilitation
Finally your patient is at the skilled unit of nursing home. The admission paper work into a skilled nursing home for rehabilitation can take near up to an hour to complete. The responsible party whether it is you the patient, your spouse an adult...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
