Ditch The Guilt For Good!

For most of us, being female and feeling guilty are inseparable. But just why are we so hard on ourselves? Maybe it's the feeling that we haven't lived up to our self-imposed expectations, even when they're unrealistic.

What's worse, many women seem to have gotten the message that whenever we do something for ourselves, we're somehow cheating our families. The pull is always to help others, but it's never enough because someone always needs something.

If you're tired of wallowing in guilt, try our two-step process. First, find a quick fix to get through today, then work on a long-term solution. Here's how:

Guilt Trip "My house is a mess":

Try shortcuts. Swish out the sink and toilet with cleanser every couple of days instead of doing the entire bathroom. Get more storage. Pretty baskets or fabric-covered boxes with lids hid a multitude of sins. The mess won't seem so overwhelming if it's hidden.

Bring in reinforcements. Sit down with your spouse and kids and figure out which chores will be theirs exclusively, whether it's changing the sheets once a week or doing a load of laundry. Then stay out of it. They may not do things the same way you would, but it's better than not having the chores done at all.

Quilt Trip: "We never have enough time together as a family"

Swap nights out. Get your girlfriend to baby-sit at her house and have a night in alone with your husband. Then reciprocate for her.

Skip an hour's worth of chores. Do something fun as a family instead. No one will notice if the sheets didn't get changed or the floor didn't get vacuumed this week.

Guilt Trip: "I lost my patience"

When you snap, apologize. Even if you've had a rough day, taking it out on your spouse and kids is only going to add fuel to the fire.

Inject some humor. Make light of the situation by saying something like, "Now that I've shot off like a rocket, I'll come back down to earth and calm down." Or keep a file of favorite cartoons and jokes handy, then pull them out when - continued below ...