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Further
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Picture Your Clutter Gone!
Picture Your Clutter Gone! By: Janet L. Hall In Catherine Ponders book, The Prosperity Secrets of the Ages, she says, "Psychologists tell us that the picturing power of the mind is one of man's strongest powers for success. They say that any...
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Recently I took my two children to a popular new park in the area. It's a beautiful new playground, all wood, divided into different areas of play for different age groups. It's wonderful for me as well, as my children can play at age appropriate...
The Many Faces of Santa
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information...
How To Locate A Home Cinema Projector
Much time is spent on helping you select the right projector for your home cinema which is great as it is an expensive purchase. Unfortunately little time is given to location, and this is critical to achieve a great cinema experience. The following...
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Being An Emotional Victim
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Written By:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
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None of us like to think of ourselves as victims. The term "victim" brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless. Therefore, It comes as a shock to most of us to realize how often we allow ourselves to be emotional victims. Having counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, I know that many of us are victims much of the time without realizing it.
We are being victims anytime we give another person the power to define our worth. We are being victims anytime we make approval, sex, things, a substance, or an activity responsible for our feelings of happiness and lovability. We are being victims anytime we blame another for our feelings of fear, anger, hurt, aloneness, jealousy, disappointment, and so on. Whenever we choose to define ourselves externally, we are handing away power to others and we then feel controlled by their choices. When we choose to define ourselves internally through our connection with our spiritual Guidance, we move into personal power and personal responsibility. The moment we sincerely want to learn about our own intrinsic worth and what behavior is in our highest good, and we ask Spirit, we will receive answers. Most people do not realize how easy it is to receive answers from a spiritual Source. The answers will pop into your mind in words or pictures, or you will experience the answers through your feelings, when your sincere desire is to learn.
We always have two choices: we can try to find our happiness, peace, safety, security, lovability and worth through people, things, activities, and substances; or we can feel joyful, peaceful, safe, secure, lovable and worthy through connection with a spiritual Source of love and compassion - taking loving care of ourselves and loving others.
Whenever we choose to find our happiness and safety through others, then we have to try to control them to give us what we want. Then, when they don't come through for us in the way we hoped they would, we feel victimized by their choices.
Here is an example: Don and Joyce are in a continual power struggle over how to handle their children. Joyce tends to be authoritarian while Don is fairly permissive. When Joyce gets frustrated with Don's parenting, she generally yells at him about his permissiveness. Don often listens to Joyce rant and rave at him. Sometimes she goes on for over an hour and he just listens. Then, when he tries to talk with her, she refuses to listen. - continued below ...
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continued ...
Don then feels victimized, complaining about how Joyce yells at him and refuses to listen to him.
When I asked Don in a counseling session with him why he sits and listens to Joyce, he stated that he hoped if he listened to her she would listen to him. I asked if she ever does listen during these conflicts, and he answered "No."
"Why do you need her to listen to you?"
"I want to explain to her why I did what I did with the children."
"Why do you need to explain it to her?"
"So she won't be mad at me."
Don allows himself to be yelled at by Joyce as his way of trying to control Joyce, hoping to get her to approve of him. Then he tried to explain to further control how she feels about him. When she won’t listen, he feels victimized by her yelling, blaming her for being such an angry, controlling person.
If Don were willing to take responsibility for approving of himself through his connection with his Higher Power, he would not listen to Joyce when she was yelling at him. Instead, he would set a limit against being yelled at, stating that he would listen to her only when she spoke to him with respect and only when she was open to learning with him. But as long as she has to approve of him for him to feel secure or worthy, he will not set this limit. Until Don opens to his spiritual Guidance for his security and worth, instead of handing this job to Joyce, he will be a victim of her unloving behavior.
Taking responsibility for our own feelings of worth and lovability through developing our spiritual connection, instead of giving that job to others, moves us out of being victims and into personal power.
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You” and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions.
Source: www.isnare.com
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Simplifying Your Life
The simple life is a life lived with a single focus. The more responsibilities a person has, the more complicated life becomes. For generations the focus for women was their families. I have often longed for the past, thinking how wonderful if we...
He Man Barbeque Sauce
2 1/4 c Ketchup 1/2 ts Garlic powder 2 1/4 c Water 2 ts Worcestershire sauce 2 ts Instant beef broth or cubes 2 ds Liquid hot pepper 1 1/4 ts Dry mustard 3 tb Brown sugar 1 tb Chile powder 1 tb Lemon juice 1 ts Black pepper 1/2 ts Liquid smoke...
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1 lb Pork tenderloin 1 tb Sesame oil 1/2 c Soy sauce 1/4 c Honey 2 Cl Garlic; minced 2 tb Brown sugar 1 tb Grated fresh ginger Recipe by: Mike Roberts Combine all ingredients in a shaker and shake like the dickens. I like to use whole fresh...
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