 |
Further
Reading ...
|
|
Living Wills Make Final Wishes Known
People remember how sad they felt while Terri Schiavo withered away; as they watched the woman's family fight over what they thought she wanted.
You Should Have A Living Will
While Living Wills have existed for some time, they have become...
Pumpkin Carving Safety Tips
Well it is that time of the year again and if your little ones are anything like mine, they are probably getting pretty excited about carving pumpkins. Pumpkin carving is a very entertaining hobby but as with most hobbies you need to take...
A Gorgeous Hawaii Wedding – Romance Awaits
Almost every girl dreams of a beautiful and romantic wedding for most of her life. Now that your time has come and you’re planning your dream wedding, what could be more beautiful or more romantic than a dream wedding in Hawaii? With the costs of...
The Top Diaper Bags for Stylish and Savvy Moms
Forget bears and bunnies. Today's diaper bags are all about mom and her needs: The need to be organized. The need to feel stylish. The need to have daddy lug the thing around once in awhile. First, some general guidelines from veteran moms: 1....
|
|
|
Are You Too Nice For Your Own Good?
|
 |
Written By:
Royane Real
|
|
|
Are you too nice? How can anyone be "too nice"? Isn't being "nice" a good quality to have in a relationship?
Yes, it's true that people will value niceness in others, but if your way of being nice is to suppress your own needs constantly, you are being too nice for your own good. If you always put the needs of others first, and your own needs last, if you don't speak out when your own needs are ignored, then you are being too nice for your own good.
When you express your niceness as a sign of genuine respect, kindness and interest in another person, it is a wonderful quality to have. When the "niceness" is a by-product of low self-esteem, passivity, or desperate loneliness, it can be a liability, and can make other people feel uneasy, guilty, or even attract the sort of people who are willing to exploit you.
Have you ever met a person who never expresses their real preferences, opinions, or desires, even in the smallest matters? When someone asks them, "Where do you want to go tonight?" they reply, "I don't care, anything is fine with me, where do you want to eat?"
A person who won't state their opinion or preference may think they are being nice, but this is not niceness, this is a form of fearfulness, and a lack of self-respect. Some people develop the trait of never asking for what they want because they were raised in a family where expressing wants or opinions was discouraged, or even disallowed.
They may have been literally taught that they shouldn't speak up, that they shouldn't want anything for themselves, and that everyone else's opinion mattered more than theirs did.
A child who - continued below ...
|
|
|
continued ...
grew up in a family where they weren't allowed to express their needs or opinions, may grow up believing that this is how the whole world wants them to behave, even after they have become adults. They may find it difficult to take the initiative in any situation involving other people. They may feel uncomfortable or fearful expressing their desires. They may even feel they are being "bad" if they ask for anything.
Although they may think that being extremely passive and refusing to make decisions is their way of "being nice", it isn't always fun having a person who is this self-effacing as a friend. It can be tiring for the other person in the friendship to have to make every decision just because their passive friend won't make any.
In relationships that are healthy and satisfying, both people share responsibility equally when making plans and decisions.
If you believe that being nice means never asking for anything for yourself, it's important to learn to pay attention to your needs, to respect yourself, and to ask for what you want and need. Take your turn making decisions with others. Make your needs and preferences heard.
If you find your wishes are always being ignored, take a close look at why this is happening and see how you can change it.
This article was written by Royane Real, author of the new book "How You Can Have All the Friends You Want – Your Complete Guide to Finding Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends" If you want to improve your social life, download it today at http://www.royanereal.com
Copyright Royane Real - http://www.royanereal.com
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
| _Additional Resources ... |
|
A History of Names
The history of names is so ancient that no one know quite where it began. Oral and written history both profess people having names. Earlier names seem to have some sort of meaning, usually descriptive. In contrast, today’s names are usually given...
What's Happened to Halloween?
Halloween has become as commercialized as Christmas. The traditional carved pumpkins which were prominently placed at the front of homes are now over shadowed with outdoor lighting and decorations. The (NFR) National Retail Federation...
Jeweled Shamrock Pendant
March 17th is St. Patrick's Day and according to tradition if you are not wearing at least a little something green you just might get pinched and why put yourself through that? Let's face it most of us do not look very good in green attire but,...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
