Are You Afraid of Growing Older?

Not long ago I received a note from a woman in her mid twenty’s expressing her fear of aging. She felt it was out of control and only keeping her from growing into the woman she is meant to be. She does not think poorly of older women, and in fact started her note with “I have seen many gracefully aged women and thought they are fantastic”.

However, she then continued listing some of the things that she is fearful of such as weight gain and the loss of identity, youthful looks, attractiveness, freedom, style and personality (especially around becoming a mother. There are also those unknown fears which she sums up as the “loss of God knows what”.

Sadly, this young woman’s fears are not unfounded. Many cultures in our world are youth oriented. We are bombarded daily with advertisements to look younger, thinner and more hip. TV, magazines, and music videos dictate our hair styles, fashions, and behaviors. Not only that, but if we happen to be old enough to have gray hair or any FINE lines around our eyes, we are directed to the appropriate product to erase any signs of aging.

Is it any wonder that many of us are fearful? The stereotypes around us are so misleading!
We see images of “little old ladies” that may walk hunched over, are poor, and at the mercy of dishonest people. While some images show men aging with distinction, we also see women who are just old, dry and helpless. Hogwash!

While it is true that our bodies and minds do change with age, I happen to believe that we really do get better as we mature. So, allow me to address some of the fears listed above.

• Loss of Identity. I’ve only, in the past few years really begun to learn who I am. I’ve come into my own. I’m more self confident than ever before (and I still have a way to go!).

• Loss of Youthful looks. I’m going to be 49 in a few days. I do not wish to look like 25. Granted I don’t have lots of wrinkles (only a few very fine lines…they are staying, thank you!) and have only a bit of gray hair that I’ve been cultivating for many years.

• Weight gain. Yes it’s common, but it’s not the rule of thumb. You might notice a - continued below ...